Meditation
“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”
Marcus Aurelius - Meditations
What reason can there be for an individual to relinquish their happiness in this life for the hope of something better in one to come?
I think that the answer lies in a fear of death shared by all humanity.
As a therapist I’ve seen so many Christians struck immobile with grief that I came to the conclusion that the reaction and the belief were tied in together.
It’s the opposite of the “atheists in a foxhole” argument. If the mourners actually believed in a life after death they would not have such extreme reactions. Ordinary sadness, yes. Profound sorrow, yes - but not the hysterical, out of control wretchedness displayed.
Humanist and atheist funerals seem be such quiet affairs. Dignified and solemn, sometimes filled with laughter at the remembering that went on. But I cannot recall one Christian funeral where it was not assumed, by the attendees, that we were present at a tragedy. And this despite the homilies of the pastor.
There are no deists in foxholes. They dodge the bullet, avoid the runaway train just as atheists do - but feel guilty afterwards. When faced with death they respond just as atheists do but with the addition of disappointment, anger and unrecognized fear.
The truth seems to lie somewhere in the idea that believers don’t actually believe, they hope. There’s no evidence for their belief, they have no tangible proofs of an existence after their death and it is this that is being expressed. On the surface it’s the ending of another’s life they are witnessing, but in reality they are grieving their own destiny.
The atheist may have just as much trouble accepting death - after all It’s hard to understand how it’s possible for the world to continue without us, just as it’s impossible to remember pain in the same way that we recall a scent - but comes to a stoic acceptance.
There is dignity in our way.
You may have guessed. Today is my 60th birthday.
Tags: Philosophy
April 23rd, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Most funerals I go to the people cry very little and we all start laughing and remembering the things that person used to say and do. I’m sure if the death were sudden there would be a greater out-cry because of the shock the person or persons were not prepared for the death.
May 18th, 2008 at 10:04 am
It’s a particularly human vanity isn’t it, to think it impossible that the world could go on without us, that ultimately our life in the grander scheme of things is completely irrelevant. I’m not saying our lives don’t matter, but the only inherent truth is that we are born, we live and we die - it’s just something that happens. The meanings we give to that process are what makes life fun and interesting, and it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to in the past year.
I’d love my funeral to be full of laughter and relaxed silliness, yet I’m not sure that that would happen yet. But the path I’m on has only just begun, so there’s time, and I’m comfortable with that. It’s a new aspiration as I approach *gasp* 40…